Poem for all you golfers

In My Hand I Hold A  Ball, 

White And Dimpled, And Rather Small.
Oh, How Bland  It Does Appear,
This Harmless Looking Little  Sphere.

By Its Size I Could Not Guess
The Awesome  Strength It Does Possess.
But Since I Fell Beneath Its  Spell,
I've Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.

My  Life Has Not Been Quite The Same
Since I Chose To Play This  Stupid Game.
It Rules My Mind For Hours On End;
A  Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.

It Has Made Me Curse And Made  Me Cry,
And Hate Myself And Want To Die.
It Promises Me  A Thing Called Par,
If I Hit It Straight And Hit It Far.

To Master Such A  Tiny Ball,
Should Not Be Very Hard At All.
But My  Desires The Ball Refuses,
And Does Exactly As It  Chooses.

It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,
And  Disappears Before My Eyes.
Often It Will Have A Whim,
To  Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.

With Miles Of Grass On Which To  Land,
It Often Finds A Tiny Patch Of  Sand.
Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,
If Only It Would  Find The Hole.

It's Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,
And  Swear That I Will Give It Up.
And Take To Drink To Ease My  Sorrow,
But The Ball Knows ... I'll Be Back  Tomorrow.

Stand proud you noble swingers of  clubs
And losers of balls, here are some STATISTICS for  you!

A recent study found that  the average golfer
Walks about 900 miles a  year.

Another study found that golfers drink,  on
Average, 22 gallons of alcohol a  year.

This means that, on average, golfers get about  41 miles to the gallon!

Kind of makes you  proud.

Email from Kyung Hwa Lee